July 2nd 2017

Hi mom.

Yes, I’ve figured it out. Your stalking has gone too far, to the point where the most hidden part of the internet has fallen victim to your obsessive paranoia.

In honor of this valiant discovery, I’m writing this for you.

Yes, I am a virgin. No, I have not lied to you.

I’ve omitted some of my experiences because how else can I talk about growing up to the woman who wants me to stay 2 years old forever?

How do you expect me to confide my fears or revelations after years of constantly being told I’m a terrible daughter or that you don’t love me or care?

I’m eternally grateful you gave birth to me, but I believe you are a very shitty mom.

You’ve supplied food and shelter and clothes but emotionally? Nothing.

Countless graduations, award ceremonies, and concerts you’ve asked me why I wasn’t as “accomplished” as the other children. You always compared me to my brothers or my neighbors or friends.

Even when I started dating all you did was make snarky rude comments and made fun of me behind my back.

So yes, you’ve found out my secrets. But you are so incredibly dense, you can’t utilize this information to change yourself. You’re merely a bratty pre-teen trapped in an older body looking for dirt about your daughter.

I will not let you ruin my creative outlet anymore. I am going to keep growing as a person and hopefully one day you get yourself together or I will have no second thoughts about sending you to a nursing home.


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