June 24th 2017

man eater.

or so he thinks I am. It’s been 4 months since I’ve ended my first and only relationship with Chris and so recently, I’ve moved on to the next guy.

Obviously, I’ve changed after that first summer love.

I’m not going to be timid with the next guy that comes around and I’m certainly not going to settle for a stoner who hasn’t graduated from college and still lives with his parents.

Instead, I’m gonna settle for a man with a well paying job, a degree in Criminal Justice, a certification as an EMT and well lives with his parents…

Money’s tight so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

I am not a man eater like he believes. I am not a hussy like he believes. I’m just a girl who loves to flirt especially when it’s harmless. And I am still contemplating how far into this new relationship I should wait to tell him I’m all talk and I’ve actually never had sex in my life.

He’s very excited about the sex though. The sex that he and I will probably never have, or will have when he drops a few hundred for a very nice sparkly ring. I know it’s important, however I’m worried when we talk about it. Lust isn’t the same as love. I need to be sure there’s a chemistry between our hearts and not our reproductive parts.

I guess love is ruined a little for me. I feel less optimistic about finding a soul mate. I suppose I can settle for someone who doesn’t treat me like dirt because I feel the universe doesn’t influence love too much.

I’m only eighteen, what do I know about love?

Well I know this: the perfect man doesn’t exist. The perfect man is something we choose for ourselves and convince ourselves he’s flawless.

 

 

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