Ich bin sehr gestresst.
I tell my German teacher.
How easy it was to balance school, work, and band in theory. In practice? I have not been as successful.
Everything is a commitment, although some present themselves as a higher priority than others.
In an ideal world, I would be content with ridding myself of an extra curricular. In an ideal world, my education would not be as soul sucking as I find it to be this year. In an ideal world, customers aren’t pompous assholes and my employers and co-workers would cease to ostracize me and display cruel favoritism after I’ve had a long day.
I joke to Frau that I might lose my hair with all this stress.
Truthfully, I’m more concerned about my state of mind. I’m sitting in a silent white bedroom and when I close my eyes and try to focus my thoughts, I hear static. I envision those grey swirly thought bubbles cartoonists use when a character is frustrated because that’s what I am:
F R U S T R A T E D.
I attempt to remind myself,
‘Just one more month, then it’ll all be over. You’ll be relieved. It’ll all be worth it.’
I cannot wait for Nationals. Graduation is going to be heaven. The day that I leave my job will bring bliss into my life.
I have to promise myself it won’t always be like this.
Life is Good.