Jealousy is an ugly thing.
I’m big enough to admit I am jealous. I do feel ugly.
A few months ago, I felt I was successful and that I had potential. However, not in comparison to my peers.
I didn’t plan out my life to a T and my parents (while strict to a certain extent) didn’t force my to. All of my peers are in Honors, AP, have received scholarships and joined elite ensembles. Even in high school, my only leadership position I found wasn’t intended for actual leadership. I’m a figure head of the program.
My classes are average. My life is average. If I’m being honest, my being is quite average. I’m not a prodigy, although I wish I was.
It’s probably the stress of going back to Lenape. Because when I started this blog, I was confident and sure about who I was and where I wanted to go.
I have to keep reminding myself that I won’t always feel this way, that I have to endure.
Give it a week or two. Eventually, I’ll come to a realization.
I’ll feel less “ugly”.